Running on empty

Figs out of season – not really a big deal for the one who turned water into wine, who fed thousands with a few loaves and fishes – twice. And that’s only what we know about. Jesus even said to his disciples, what are you worried about food for? Don’t you remember the loaves and the fishes? (That’s my version – sorry its not word for word, it would pay to check the original.) But that morning on the way into Jerusalem Jesus was hungry. But then there’s more to figs out of season than just food. These are special figs – God figs. These are figs from the Father. That’s why Jesus was hungry, and that’s what he hungered for – a nod, a smile, a ‘keep going Son’ from on high. A message in figs – figs where there shouldn’t be figs, right where you need them. I’m not saying Jesus wasn’t physically hungry, I’m saying when we are emotionally drained we are looking for something to keep us going. And when Jesus saw that fig tree, a ray of hope flickered in him, and he knew, if Father was giving me breakfast, that’s where it would be. Food for body and soul, food for faith if you have a heart to know it, and no one had faith like Jesus, a heart like Jesus, who knew the mind of the Father, who saw Father’s hand at work everywhere. And in that fig tree, Jesus searched for that hand.

You see, it seems to me that as Jesus braced himself that day for the subtle, deadly, piercing inquisition of the pharisees, and the oceanic needs of the people, the seeds of what were to be some of his final words – Father, Father, why have you forsaken me? – had already been sown. He woke that morning feeling strangely alone, strangely empty, strangely abandoned. And in his heart he knew, ‘it has begun’. This is the end game. And its mine, and mine alone. And out of that realisation weakness flooded him, hunger arose, then anger – but that’s for another post. Before that came the fig tree, and a ray of hope – this is how it has always been, you and me Father, always your lifeline, the hand that no one sees, though I tell them, though I point to it, they stare blindly, but I see, I know, and I need your lifeline so much.

Not this time. As Jesus searched the branches, bleary-eyed, bewildered disciples watching, behind every leaf was only the cold realisation, it was not to be. A new feeling. A closed door. An empty stomach.

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Cows and clouds and angel hair

OK, they are bulls – fans of Joni Mitchell will be equally outraged either way by my unpoetic license with her lyrics. I like these spiderwebby clouds, seen here over a friends farm where I was working today. Hard to really get the effect in a photo. Soon after this a norwester gale came up and really blew away the cobwebs. Another pic before that:

It happens to blackbirds

I’ve heard it said the future can be whatever you make it if you put in the effort. Try telling that to the blackbird couple that made this nest. (OK, they won’t understand, but anyway..) Unfortunately by the look of the last remaining chick just before the nest became empty, I doubt it flew out of there. But the nest is beautiful. How do they do that? A little unconventional perhaps, on the concrete outside the tearoom.. Maybe they had a bad experience with a tree? They put a lot of effort into those chicks too. Check the other post with poor mum in the pouring rain, babies warm and dry underneath. Anyhow, seems there won’t be fledglings this season. So much effort just to produce some feathery compost or a quick takeaway meal for a passing cat. But if its like that for a blackbird, how can we pretend that people are always the authors of their own misfortune? That we owe no one anything, they all had their chance? One morning it was cold and the last chick was there alone shivering, I thought, oh no, where’s mum? I can’t rescue the chick, can I? How long will it suffer if she’s gone? Should I even put it out of its misery? Why couldn’t it just disappear in the night? Then she came back and my conscience rested. When the chick finally did disappear it was much easier, I saw nothing, whatever nasty thing happened was hidden by the dark when I was nowhere around. Like some child in a slum on the other side of the world, or where shells explode and adults lie bleeding, children wait in vain for them to return. No one’s life is in their own hands alone. But we can make a difference.

That fig tree..

So Jesus is on his way into town – Jerusalem that is – its early and he hasn’t had breakfast. Or lunch or dinner the day before. That’s not uncommon for Jesus, he’s used to roughing it on the road, food comes when and where you find it. Still its not often you read that he was hungry, like this morning. I’m picking he had a rough night, rougher than usual. His time is up, he knows that. That’s why he’s here – to finish it. Still, now the final scene is here, it just feels empty. Something is not right. Judas? Well that was always coming. There might still be a chance – but its hard to see how he will make it back from here. He’s had chances plenty already. Focus, get it right these next two days and its done, everything’s done. Play it right.. but that’s just it. They’re all playing to lose. I’m playing it for them, they don’t even see. Well, how was it meant to be anyway? Father? Hungry. Pulling up short, that’s what it is. I’m almost there and I’m pulling up short. Well that makes sense, I was always going to be home on empty. Ha! Figs!

More to Life – the world through wordpress eyes

I’ve just been figuring out the tag business. I wanted to just select from tags that everyone else is using, seeing this is some kind of community and most people blog at least in part for others to see. Using other people’s tags is like using their language. Label your work with something other people recognize. However it doesn’t seem to work that way. I got around it by just checking out the favourite tags page and making some notes. That’s where it got interesting. Well before that actually – the ‘topics’ page.

Mostly what I want to write about is the inspiration I draw from the natural world, the wonder of life, and the infinite preciousness and value of people that we so often miss. And God. But I can’t see it in the topics – its like, ‘food’, ‘humour’, ‘art’, etc. There wasn’t even religion, or spirituality. It looks like a smorgersbord of consumerism and aesthetics. I can’t quite put my finger on it – nothing wrong with any of the categories – I just didn’t want to look at any of them. So I turned to the ‘tags’ page with some misgivings.

Tags however opened a lot more doors. Among the hot numbers were ‘family’, ‘life’, ‘personal’, ‘love’, ‘thoughts’, ‘random’, ‘inspiration’.. Ha! So people do think about themselves, each other, life, and our world (apart from just wanting to eat it). I figure there’s a mismatch between the (organisation’s) topics and the (people’s) tags. But I won’t get too subversive, I had one post like that already. WordPress is a great opportunity and I’m thankful for it.

Now that I’ve got some hot tags to bandy about, I really like the fact I can make my own too. There are some big words missing from the hot list and I am going to enjoy using them.